Dig
by Narya's Bane
Summary: A Simon and Kaylee fic, exploring their growing relationship. Inspired by the song by Incubus.


A/N: I was listening to this song and couldn't help writing. Really, I couldn't!

The following is a possible path for Simon and Kaylee's romance. It often bothered me that Kaylee's thought when Simon practically proposed during the reaver fight was physical when she had an obviously stronger connection to him through the series and was looking for more. When I think about it, I decided this is probably because they had already lain the groundwork, and that was the last piece she needed to connect with him. I have set it up the way I think is most likely- let me know what you think.

CON/CRIT Reviews only please!

General Disclaimer: I own nothing. Props to Whedon and Incubus.

"See Joss, this is why they took away Wonder Woman." (random Robot Chicken reference)

- --------- ---------- ---

POST "Serenity" PILOT

Simon smelled of cotton. Most people would have ignored it since the smell is so faint, but to a nose used to oils and greases it tended to stand out in the world. For Kaylee, it absolutely delighted and thrilled her in a way different from how the engines could. That scent was the reason Kaylee first felt drawn to the swai doctor, and she wasn't fixing to let her interest die down any time soon. So now, even weeks after she's recovered from the gunshot and needs no more therapy, she still reports every other day to the common room in the passenger dorms and sits in wait on the couch. Simon never disappoints her; he shows up like clockwork. Now instead of working with her, making sure she's healthy, they are able to just chat. It gives Kaylee a reason to come out of the engine room, and lets Simon breathe when River takes up so much of his time.

Being his patient, Kaylee learned a very different side of Simon early on in his adventures. She met the smooth, sure part of him and continued to fall for that person. He was funny, and calm. Not stammering, like he tended to be outside of the infirmary. Kaylee liked that part of him much better...

It was the other side of him that had sent her back to her bunk early today. She was afraid that someone would hear her crying in the engine room, though she trusted herself to work and not hurt her Girl. No, nobody should hear this.

Kaylee had just met a part of Simon she very much didn't like. The one who stumbled around words, who was prone to panic and forget just how fragile his new friend was. It had been a simple thing, really, but it surprised Kaylee. This was the first time she knew he was not as confident or comfortable, and that made her think hard. He must be missing his core-world life, so little like what he was finding out in the Black.

"Kaylee?"

The last thing she had planned on was him following her here. Still, his voice was now unmistakable as he knocked on the hatchway into her bunk.

"Kaylee, please? Can I- will you come out?"

"Not talking to you."

"Then I guess..." The hatch opened, and before Kaylee could squeal in protest he lowered himself into her quarters. A few glances around and he smiled. "This looks exactly like I would imagine."

"Can't come barging into a woman's room like that," Kaylee murmured. "It isn't..."

"Proper?"

Kaylee thought about that. "Yeah."

"Well, then I shall endeavor to be proper in the future. But Kaylee, I was concerned. We were talking, and then all of a sudden..."

Kaylee sighed. "Never mind. I'm sorry I left like that."

"Is it something I said?"

"Kinda."

"Can you be more specific?"

"It's just that I hadn't thought about you being thrown into this. Being uncomfortable like on Serenity. That this isn't something you chose. Sorta phased me, that's all. Like I wouldn't be your friend if it wasn't for your circumstances."

She caught a wince in the doctor's eye. "I would not claim you to have been my first choice of friend before now, Kaylee. But you are so open- you happen to be the best chance I have now. Perhaps the only chance. So I am reaching out to you, Kaylee. Will you be my friend? Even if I may never say I would have looked twice at you before now?"

Kaylee thought about that. "I think I can do that," she admitted. "Not saying it'll be easy. But I can be your friend, Simon, if you want."

// We all have a weakness, but some of ours are easier to identify.

Look me in the eye and ask forgiveness;  
we'll make a pact to never speak that word again!  
Yes you are my friend. \\

POST "TRAIN JOB"

Kaylee sensed something was wrong. Simon hadn't spoken much since Mal and Zoe had come back from returning the medicines to the townsfolk; well, he never spoke much, but this was different. This was silent brooding. She recognized in from watching River, but wasn't surprised to see that the Doc had the same tells as his sister. He wasn't in the infirmary, and he hadn't shown in the common rooms, so Kaylee determined he must still be in his own quarters. Which led her to his door now, wiping a smudge from her cheek as she knocked on the door lightly.

"Quing jin."

Kaylee entered at his notice, finding him sitting on the edge of the bed with his head buried in his hands. "Hi," she whispered, causing his head to shoot up to stare at her.

"Kaylee! I'm sorry, I thought you were..."

"River's in the kitchen," Kaylee explained. "Seems to be enjoying talking with Cap'n and Zoe today. Acting...normal. Ish."

Simon smiled. "I'm glad to hear it."

"So. She's fine." Kaylee paused, then neared to sit beside him on the bed. "What's eatin' you, doc?"

Simon considered a moment before visibly caving in, either knowing Kaylee could get the truth out of him or because it was too hard to hold in. "I could have used some of those supplies," he admitted. "I almost wish Jayne had taken over, that we hadn't given back the cargo. It's selfish, and that bothers me, but I could have used a small portion. For River."

"Oh honey." Kaylee moved her arms around the doctor, letting him collapse close to her shuddering.

"I am changing," Simon noted, still letting Kaylee embrace him in the friendly hug. "I would never have even thought about theft before, but barely a month out here and I begin thinking that stealing supplies to aide myself is the right answer. The only answer, even."

Kaylee hushed Simon carefully, feeling he was done. "Not selfish to want to help your mei-mei. It's actually sweet. As for the idea of robbin'- well, it's not terribly strange. You told me you'd done a share of crime to get River away from the feds; just the next step, Simon. Before you know it, you'll find a balance and be planning capers with the cap'n." Kaylee ran a finger over his cheek in a vaguely motherly fashion, helping him to relax and calm. He kept cringing in her arms for a bit, though much slower and with an ever decreasing shiver.

"So much for being proper," he murmured moments later, the episode over.

Kaylee chuckled. "You can try harder in the future."

"Kaylee... thank you. For remaining my friend."

Kaylee smiled and hugged him closer. "It's shiny. Nice to have a nice, core-bred doc for a pal."

Yet inside her heart, something changed that moment. Kaylee had noticed a glimmer of emotion in her that wasn't the original lust, and certainly wasn't simply friendly. A chord had bristled down her back, not of pity but closer to empathy. She'd felt for him, understanding his dilemma a bit. The emotion frightened her- she'd never experienced that before now. Not even with Farmer Jones' son, who she'd been considering marrying. This was stronger, more- interesting.

"You're my best friend right now," Simon whispered, sitting up straight and kissing her cheek gently. And Kaylee felt her entire being brighten. She would remain his best friend, his confidant. And for now, that would be enough.

// We all have something that digs at us.   
At least we dig each other.  
So when weakness turns my ego up,  
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday.  
If I turn into another, dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me.   
Sing this song; remind me that we'll always have each other when everything else is gone. \\

POST "SAFE"

Kaylee collapsed into her hammock, snugly warm next to the beating heart of Serenity. It was calm, quiet. Finally. The past few days had been all too hectic. From setting down on planet, to the lovely ball, to losing River...Simon and River... almost losing Book... not to mention the turmoil Kaylee had felt in her emotions the entire time, from excited about landfall, to mad at Mal, to enjoying the party, to worry about the captain... finally wrenching her heart with the adventures in delivering the cattle and the Tam siblings' capture. Kaylee sighed: it was too much.

Mal had debated returning once Book was tended to rightly. Jayne had been all for leaving the two, but Kaylee's voice had taken up. "They're crew," she had pleaded. "Captain, you told Simon he was crew. Can't just leave your doc for hill-folk to torment. I can get us there real quick-like, see if I can't, and you can be big damn heroes."

The captain had never been able to deny his mei-mei anything, so back to the world they went in search of the Tams. Kaylee had never worked so hard to make speed in her life, but fear of what might happen to Simon had spurred her to action. Since she'd figured out her feelings ran a mite deeper than she'd imagined, most of what Kaylee worried about other than the engines was Simon Tam.

But now things were calm. A day past planet-fall, the rescue a rousing success, the engines were quiet and resting. Kaylee let the feeling of success wash over her, glad to simply sit and be HOME. She listened intently to the sounds of the ship, hearing a clumsy and uncertain footstep nearing her refuge slowly. Kaylee smiled, amazed that the owner of those steps was actually coming into her hiding place.

"Hey Simon," she called out, not bothering to look towards her visitor.

"Good afternoon Kaylee. I thought you might still be here when you didn't show up today."

Kaylee's eyes went wide. "I didn't think you'd miss me, having been a bit stuck yesterday."

"I look forward to our time together."

Kaylee had to remind herself that he was speaking of friendly chats, not insinuating any additional feelings along with that. "I'll remember that."

"You know, I was worried about you. Thought about you a lot yesterday."

"Really?" Kaylee felt a bit of hope open up in her heart at those words. Then slowly, "Why worry about me?"

"Well, you've come into the infirmary with some pretty bad cuts lately."

"Engine wasn't wanting to take love and spit, wanted some real parts. That was just her way of complaining."

Simon frowned. "I hope that is taken care of."

Kaylee smiled. "Shiny now, yes. Got some real money, got us some real parts too. Not everything as should be replaced, thought it's close enough. But anyways, it was real nice you thought of me while you were captured. That's real sweet of yah."

Simon blushed furiously, much to the engineer's amusement. "Well, there wasn't much else I could think of to keep my mind off the situation."

"What, so I'm a last resort?" Kaylee grumbled, humming. For some reason, that comment did NOT seem to amount to a compliment. "Did you know some of the crew wanted to leave yah? I had to talk real pretty just to get them to go back for you?"

Simon stalled, stunned. "Kaylee, I... I... you shouldn't have..."

Kaylee felt a rush of anger flow over her. "I should have let them keep you there? Let you stay and get burnt up?"

"I suppose not..."

"Don't interrupt me, Simon. Look, right before the party the captain hurt me by saying I don't belong in no dress. He tried making up for it, dressed me up pretty, but truth is that didn't set it right. Then you went and made your gose comment about people out in the black..."

"Kaylee, I never meant..."

"You're listening, remember? Anyway, you said that, and it hurt too. In a different way. Because I LIKE you, Simon. You're a..." Here she paused, considering her words. "...a good friend. I figured you didn't mean it. But is that what you think? That those of us who grew up on the edge, who chose a life doing crime, would leave someone behind like that? Is that what you meant when you asked me to be your friend?"

Simon let Kaylee halt in silence, watching as some of the fiery red drained from her cheeks and her breathing slowed to normal- or at least enough he wasn't afraid she would hyperventilate. "I'm sorry, Kaylee."

"Sorry isn't good enough," the mechanic whispered. "Get out."

Unsure what else to do, Simon did as she suggested. Simon left.

// We all have a sickness that cleverly attaches and multiplies no matter how hard we try.  
We all have something that digs at us,  
at least we dig each other... \\

POST "JAYNESTOWN"

Two days after Canton, Simon was still bothered a bit by Kaylee's comment about the bar. Not that he was afraid she'd lied about pulling his leg, but because even after she joked with him she had seemed reserved and quiet. Unfortunately, he hadn't had a chance to speak with her about the happenings lately; once they had left her quarters that night, her careful hands having been able to clean him up again (turned out she was decent at cleaning and sewing up wounds, having had many herself while working on the ship), she'd all but disappeared into her work- coming out only when necessary for meals and sleep. Simon had been hesitant to approach her, unsure what would happen if he did...

Unsure what conversation they would have to have next.

Simon had noticed his feelings move beyond the friendship he had originally asked for from the mechanic. She was absolutely his best friend on Serenity, probably the best friend he had ever had, listening to him ramble on. He talked with he a bit about River; while she understood little of it, she was able to comprehend the heart of the matter: Simon felt crippled, unable to help his own baby sister. Kaylee even listened to him on other things, from politics to his school days, with no forced interest. She was genuinely engaged, because it was HIM. Yet still things had begun to get uncomfortable due to the impasse they stood at in their relationship.

Whatever that impasse happened to be.

As he was thinking, sorting a drawer, the familiar shuffle of flip flops approached the infirmary. Kaylee stood at his door, head low, a blush to her cheek. Simon walked over, and the mechanic held out her hand. It not only was cut up, but had what appeared to be a bolt stuck firmly in the fleshy center. "It got caught," she explained innocently. "The force it took to get it out got it buried there."

Now Simon saw her face again, he could almost see tears forming in Kaylee's eyes. For as honest and sweet as the girl was, she did keep resolutely quiet when hurt until the time came to give an honest account of how she felt on the matter. Simon guided her to the exam table, moving to the nearest cabinet and pulling out a hypo.

"Now Simon, I don't need..." Kaylee began.

"I know it hurts," he insisted. "It'll hurt more as I try to take it out. I AM giving you a smoother."

Biting the bottom of her lip, Kaylee just nodded and let him inject the area near the injured hand. He poked around the bolt, finding it firmly embedded, and moved to the proper extraction instruments. Determining her mind needed something else to focus on, Simon chose to speak his mind a piece. Perhaps being in the middle of work would help the words flow easier.

"About Canton, I apologize for the extreme. We started our friendship very improperly; I guess now you've been seeing the other side."

Kaylee giggled a little, though her hand stayed still. "Guess so, Simon."

"So. Really, we didn't... in the bar?"

With a sigh, Kaylee reiterated, "Nothing happened. Just as you thought."

"I'm glad," Simon replied off hand. Suddenly, the hand pulled back just barely. He looked into her eyes and explained further. "What we have, our friendship, I wouldn't trade that for anything. If we were to- do something like that... what we have would change."

"What's so bad about that?" Kaylee countered.

Simon considered, picking up the best pair of tweezers and readying himself to pull the offending object from Kaylee's hand. "I never really went on dates back on Osiris, Kaylee. I bedded a few women, but nothing- emotionally intimate. Relationships die very quickly for me. I just happen to fumble a lot when it comes to that sort of thing."

"Like calling Serenity a piece of le-suh?" Kaylee asked.

"That and worse."

"Simon, I can't say I wouldn't get mad at yah for those sorts of comments but I do know I'll always forgive yah." While that statement sunk in, Simon pulled out the bolt, immediately applying pressure to stop bleeding as he reached for a medical stitching kit. Kaylee inhaled deeply, but didn't cry out or whimper before continuing, "If you wanted to be something more than my friend, you'd still be my friend first."

Simon shook his head. "It just isn't a good idea. Even if I wanted, if you wanted..."

Kaylee was silent as the stitches were put into place and a bandage set over the top with strict instructions not to take it off or get it dirty for a good two hours. As the mechanic stood up, one hand lightly rubbing the other, she commented, "We'll just be friends then."

"Good friends," Simon corrected. "Best friends."

Even seeing Kaylee's smile after he said that didn't cheer Simon. He'd felt something in himself sink, and something in his Kaylee dim. Refusing to think about that, Simon went back to his drawer resolute that he had made the right decision. Even if it hurt for now. Like Kaylee's hand, the cut would heal in time and be just the same as always.

//So when sickness turns my ego up I know you'll act as a clever medicine.   
If I turn into another, dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me. \\

POST "ARIEL"

River screaming his name in the darkness, begging him not to kill her. Two by two, hands of blue, coming toward them. Icy cold in his veins, freezing him to death. His parents denying the truth over and over again, lamenting his failed career and wasted life. Kaylee's eyes, downcast and frightened, just about ready to cry...

Simon woke in a cold sweat for the third night in a row since Ariel. The nightmares were different each time, but held a common theme of general betrayal of those he loved. It was strange to have to admit that Kaylee was on that list now, but his heart responded to her so closely it was impossible to categorically deny. Even if he was a fugitive on the run with little to offer except a criminal mind and the occasional medical treatment, he did care for her. It was making their friendship difficult.

The doctor was considering just turning over and returning to sleep when he heard a light alto voice coming from across the way. It wasn't River's singing, nor was it a song Simon recognized, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Following the sound, he ended up in River's room watching the strangest sight he thought to behold in his years.

River was laying on her side, lightly dozing, while Kaylee sat at the head of the bed with the younger girl's head in her lap. The song was coming from Kaylee, who had closed her eyes and was actually singing quite softly. Kaylee herself seemed to be drifting off, though even half asleep she was able to remember the music perfectly. Simon didn't know why, but he had never pictured her to have a singing voice; apparently that was quite wrong. And River seemed to have enjoyed it as well, a smile on the child's face such as he hadn't expected. She, too, had been experiencing nightmares lately.

Gently, Simon shook Kaylee's shoulder until the mechanic's eyes opened and she looked around to see him there. "Oh," she whispered. "Hello. She woke up after a bad dream and was passing by the engine room..."

"You were working?"

"Got some fancy new parts thanks to you," Kaylee replied with an appreciative smile. "Was working on installing some. But River seemed scared and lonely, so I..." Kaylee shifted uncomfortably, River's head floating gently to a nearby pillow. "I used to do this for the little ones back home."

"Thank you. By the way, you have a lovely voice Kaylee."

The woman blushed. "No how. Just picked it up."

"What was the song you were singing?"

"Just something my mother knew. Old song from Earth-That-Was, I think. Put her to sleep, didn't it?"

Simon nodded, taking Kaylee by the hands. "Come on. Into m..." Simon paused. It wouldn't be right to invite her into his room at this hour, would it? "Into the common room," he suggested. Sleepily, Kaylee followed as he took her towards the couch. She sat down, legs curled to the side a bit, while Simon threw caution to the wind and lay down with his head on her lowest knee. It was comfortable, and relaxing, especially once she started idly running fingers through his hair.

"Feels smooth. Good," she commented softly.

"Thank you," Simon responded, unsure whether she was speaking of his hair or their position. "You always make me feel- peaceful. Almost at home." Only in the dark of night could Simon have said something like that, and now the words had left him he was nervous about having said it. Kaylee took it in stride, not letting the comment fluster her. Simon envied her ability, wishing he could do the same.

"Glad I can help."

Simon let silence roll around them before making a quiet request. It felt almost silly, but... "Kaylee, could you sing a little? Just for me?"

Kaylee smiled and did as he wished, running her fingers through his hair as she let the music float through her lips. When she finished with a small yawn, Simon reached up to grab her hand, putting it in his own. "Kaylee," he questioned, "want to do something next time we make a decent length planet fall?" Though he was falling asleep, Simon could just make out a murmured affirmative from Kaylee as they both let comfortable darkness enfold them.

That night, instead of the same nightmare of disappointment, Simon dreams of kissing Kaylee. In his mind, she tastes of strawberries. It is the kind of dream he will never be able to forget, even if he were to try.

// Sing this song! Remind me that we'll always have each other when everything else is gone. \\

POST "THE MESSAGE"

Simon hadn't had the confidence to talk to Kaylee since the incident with Mal and Zoe's old military 'friend'- here the term friend being used loosely in roughly the same context as it was when the crew were discussing Saffron as Mal's 'wife.' Mostly the hesitation came from Kaylee's reactions to the young man. The boy had been just Kaylee's age, where Simon was a few years older and more mature (or, as the doctor recognized it now, JADED), and handsome in the rugged way of the folk in the Black. Simon was surprised how Kaylee had accepted the fact that this "body" was alive. Perhaps more surprising was her desperate clinging after the events, when the final drop was made. She had stood by Simon, and clasped his hand firmly. It had been pleasant, but entirely unexpected.

No waiting now, though. Kaylee was in the kitchen having a cup of tea, and Simon had just finished his weekly check on River. The timing was perfect.

"Can I have a cup?" Simon asked quietly, watching the mechanic turn with a smile.

"Course."

Kaylee poured the hot liquid into a second cup, sitting at the table beside Simon. They sat in comfortable silence for a minute, enjoying the smell of tea and company. It was Kaylee who first stated, "I've missed you."

Before their latest and most disastrous date, the two had been getting together infrequently for dates both on and off ship. They had been getting much more comfortable, though they rarely said anything truly personal. Simon was still learning, and when it came to lasting emotions it was obvious that Kaylee was on ground just as unfamiliar as he. They muddled through, not quite knowing what to expect. Simon saw Kaylee with the rest of the crew, and couldn't tell if the regard he received was truly different or just a manifestation of her good will towards everyone in her family. Sure she was attracted to him, but the doctor didn't know if her attentions were anything beyond the wish for a good evening. And Simon was not going to bed her just on a whim. If there wasn't any emotion in it he simply could not see it...

Even so. Kaylee was precisely what Simon needed right now. Smart. Exuberant. Kind. Welcoming.

"I missed you, too," Simon admitted, sipping his tea. Then, tentatively, he asked, "How have you been?"

"Busy," Kaylee replied. "Tired."

"Lonely?"

Kaylee's hands twitched, and she had to set down the cup. "Simon, I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" That was not the response he'd been looking forward to hearing.

"I got so mad at you for sayin' about how I was the only option for you, and then the minute another guy shows up he gets all flirty with me and I was so confused and I know what you must be thinkin' but it wasn't how it looked. I didn't- I tried not to- I thought about it, and then I thought about you and I couldn't, and just when I was goin' to tell him so he turned on me and..."

"Calm down," Simon demanded, pushing his chair nearer to Kaylee and taking her hands in his. "I didn't think you were flirting with him."

"You didn't?"

"You're not that kind of girl." Memories of her explaining how she came to be on the ship crossed his mind, but Simon ignored them. "I know that."

"Your not mad at me?"

"No. Though it explains why you clung to me a bit."

Kaylee shook her head. "I was so scared of him, Simon. He wasn't like you, not at all. He was going to hurt me. I- you wouldn't ever... you help people. You don't kill them."

Simon gulped at the familiar words, so similar to that first day on Serenity. "Kaylee... bao-bei... there's nothing to be worry about. Don't be scared."

Kaylee nodded slowly, letting Simon pull her close. She was vulnerable. Simon let her burrow slightly in his shoulder, wondering if she had ever done this with Mal or Inara. Probably. Even so, it felt... intimate. Close.

That was the moment Simon was certain he had fallen in love with Kaylee. And the certainty frightened him. He had to help her, protect her. And somehow Simon was certain that protecting Kaylee meant leaving her, even if his heart ached to do so. Yet with her so close, Simon was certain that even if they were separated by light years he would still have her; hopefully, when the time came, she would be able to make due with the little piece of his heart that she had inadvertently been given when nobody looked.

//Oh each other... when everything else is gone.\\

MID BDM

Kaylee ran up to Simon long before they were due to make landfall, seeing him packing his few belongings and helping River to do the same. She immediately pushed him to the now-stripped bed and pinned him flat.

"What is going on?" she demanded. "Why now?"

Simon stuttered for a second before he remembered. "River. He'll use River."

"You don't know that."

"Kaylee, you know the captain. Would he be able to leave her alone, knowing what he does? Now that she's PROVEN she can read minds?"

Kaylee fell silent, her force tottering enough that Simon was able to sit up and push her off of his body. With great effort. Silently, Kaylee rolled to the side and sat next to the doctor, a pained look in her eye. "So that's it?" she whispered. "That's the end of everything. Of us?"

Simon shook his head. "You're still my friend, Kaylee. I just don't know... I can't... River and I are going to have to hide again."

Kaylee nodded. "Which means I'll never see you again."

"Maybe," Simon noted. "Probably not."

Kaylee's eyes filled with fat tears, each one wanting so desperately to fall. "I can't," she cried. "Simon, you've become my ONLY friend. Well, you and River. Before Serenity I just survived, and I've made a home here, but I don't know how to continue without my best friend. Hell, if the caps running us all off I'm prob'ly the next to go. Me or Jayne. Depends if Jayne gets stupid again."

Simon brushed the tears from her eyes. "Don't leave on account of me, Kaylee."

The mechanic shook her head. "Don't go."

"I have to. For River..."

"What about you? What YOU want?"

Simon sighed. "I gave up everything for River. I can't be selfish now."

Simon Tam could be so aggravating. "Simon, what part of you is selfish?"

"That's why I have to do this. Even if it means leaving my best friend..."

"I love you." Kaylee couldn't help but say the words, had to tell him. Even if he didn't care for her, he needed to know how much she truly needed him.

Simon hesitated at those words. "Oh God," he whispered. Then again, louder, "Oh God."

"I'm sorry," Kaylee quickly uttered. "I shouldn't have..." She stood to leave, unsure what to do next.

It was Simon who made the decision. He grasped her hand, pulled her to him and held her close. "I'm sorry too," Simon told her. "Kaylee, I'm sorry. I didn't think... I never let myself see. I couldn't see you. I tried to learn who you were, but I was blinded. By my uncertainty in Mal, by my need to help River. I was kept from seeing you, who you were. And now it's too late. It's too late for me to say I love you and do anything about it."

Kaylee shook her head. "No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is." Simon pushed her away ever so slightly while he shook his head, sorrow deep in his eyes. "I won't be a distraction. I should have said it months ago, but I couldn't. I can't leave you with the possibility- no. I DO love you Kaylee. I have loved you. More than you know. But where I'm from, the way I was raised, two people don't... can't... not right after saying that for the first time."

Kaylee cried, wiping her tears away. "It's all right," she admitted. "I got a best friend, and someone to hold my hand, and I got to know you love me. I guess that'll hafta be enough, knowin' I had my chance. Even if we never got to do anything about it."

Later, as Kaylee watched Simon go, she was struck by a sense that she would indeed see him again. She knew that love would always draw them together in their hearts, even if they never knew each other physically. Time would never truly run out for them. Perhaps it was better that their love remain like this...

Who was she kidding? Kaylee felt her stomach lurch, though even at that she resolved to keep her head high. She would bicker at Mal for this one, but never let on just how strongly she felt for the doctor. And if fate brought him back, they would just see where they went. So long as River was unstable Kaylee knew she could never really have Simon, but that was all right; she could wait forever, if that is what it took to have him.

Somehow, Kaylee had a feeling she was going to have to wait that long.


End file.
